1. Propylene On Me
Who’s got something in common with anti-freeze? Cereals, baked goods, cocoa mixes, puddings, frostings, fruit fillings, sugar syrups etc., etc. all bound by propylene glycol. That’s an organic compound used to lower the freezing point of water or to keep edible things moist so by now your mouth must be watering. Here’s something to wash it down. Fireball Whiskey made the news this week as it faced recalls in a few countries due to it’s higher-than-they allow levels of propylene glycol.
Food babe must really need a drink. If there’s anything left that’s safe for her to drink.
The highlight of the announcement was watching twitter and facebook, the places where we go to share and communicate, erupt in their usual illiteracy as many thought they were drinking pure anti-freeze.
We’ve got cupcake vodka or just frosting vodka on the shelves, Jagermeister is still here and Absinthe has been back on the market for a few years. Butt-chugging was around a few years ago. Is the thought of drinking anti-freeze really that upsetting? I admit, I was bothered for a minute when I realized how cheap I can get a case of anti-freeze compared to what you pay for cinnamon whisky but in the end my heart still beats for the slow working poison upon my Liver that is this second coming of Schnappes.
The most overlooked part of this, the real scare, is not that there is stuff in our food that is also found in harsh chemicals but that the recall is ultimately due to Fireball’s not meeting Finland, Sweden and Norway’s standards.
In the game of Life (cereal) give it to America, they’ll eat anything.
2. Eating healthy this Halloween.
I know everyone feels the need to be topical and tries to tie their blog into Halloween just to score readers ::takes a bow, pats self in back, rubs stomach while patting head:: but I am not a fan of healthy eating tips for Halloween unless I’m making them.
I love the concept of taking already healthy food like everyday fruits and vegetables and bringing out the Halloween in them. I put almond halves on a strawberry as fangs, then added dabs of sugar free raspberry jelly as blood and made vampire berries! I cut bananas in half and drizzled low-sugar chocolate syrup on them to make mummies and vamp-nanas! That’s called lying to yourself. Hershey’s won a long time ago. Eating vampire fruit instead of chocolate on Halloween is like getting turnt with your action figures and a gallon of Sunny D on a Saturday night because you didn’t get invited to the good party and gosh darnit! You can make your own fun. But if you feel so inclined to recreate someone’s clearly photoshopped food frankenstein, there’s a fail subreddit that can show you your future.
What scares me about the healthy Halloween recipes is the prevalence of pimiento. It’s like the olive illuminati. Meatballs? Jab an olive in and it’s a delicious ogre eyeball. Cupcakes? Put an olive in the frosting and it suddenly there’s a scary creature trying to escape your confection. Punch? Bam! Olives! And your guests will be haunted by the taste of your eyeball soup.
Whose eyes look like olives? Where do they sell jalapeno weed to make eyes look green with red dots? Don’t buy what they’re selling. Keep the olives out of Halloween.
In fact, keep that stringent health out of Halloween. It is scary to see this as the edge you step over on the long fall to Thanksgiving and Christmas before splashing down in New Year’s champagne, before wringing yourself out and making all types of hungover health resolutions. But this is one night. The one night out of the year where the children are turned loose to live and enjoy while ghosts are said to rise and haunt those that push olives on unknowing house guests. Enjoy yourself. Have a Mr. Goodbar. The fight’s not lost in a single night or even a week’s worth of your kid’s candy. Happy Halloween.